Raising little Westies, and life as parent of a special needs son
Category Archives: parenting
Normal scheduled services will resume…. Well, soon.
For tonight, you get this snapshot.
Look back two posts ago. A year has passed.
Goals were set. In stone ways those goals have been met.
The Westies don’t live in Western Sydney any more. We now live in Canberra, having moved from one city to the other on Magpies 10th birthday.
Three kids, in two new schools.
One has made the transition not only between States, but from primary school to high school. So far, so well.
One son has moved from one mainstream class to another. It seems ?
***. the only thing that has changed, is that he has to use Skype, or a Hangout, to talk to his friends in Sydney now instead of talking to them in the playground. He is into the school seemingly as though he has been there since Kindergarten. Except his stress is through the roof…
The youngest is in a Learning Support Unit – Autism. It is the first year of operation for the unit, and so far, it’s very telling. It seems though to be working ok.
I have gone from contacting to consulting. It seems very similar so far. I’m wondering if it will be long lasting or if I will return to contracting shortly?
Again goals are being set, this time the span is two years. By the time Magpie starts high school, we are aiming to be living in a newer, larger home. Again, without selling any properties.
Since my redundancy in 2011, I have bought two more houses than I owned in 2010. My goal is to continue buying at least one property every two years… Eight properties by the time I turn 50…. Eight properties by the time my Autistic son is considering what happens after high school.
To achieve such ambitions will need a set of sacrifices to be considered, and either accepted or discarded. Discarding to many will demands a reassessment of the goal.
So far the goals seem worthwhile. Let’s see what Christmas 2014 had in store for us.
My return to Canberra was a little abrupt. Well, sure, it was a long time coming, but then it was “so, you start tomorrow, OK?”
This is a very interesting way to live a life, especially with one confirmed Autistic and one suspected “quirky” child. Or maybe that’s two quirky children? Or something. News for another blog, really.
I’m rambling… There was a theme here, somewhere!
Oh yeah. Progress. We are making it.
The plan for this year is all about being prepared, and aiming for improvement.
With my job taking me away from home again, I get to look at BTB Fan with the eyes of both an insider, and a frequent visitor. I’m noticing more and more, that he is picking up means if expressing his personality, and his thoughts or wishes. His teachers report continued progress in academia, however this can be difficult to observe outside of school – until he says or does something I hadn’t expected based on him having to have read or calculated something far more complex than I expect of him. Teachers of Autistics should ensure communication in three directions: to the Autistic child, the parents of the child, and to school management.
So the idea then is to stop having such low expectations. He can achieve more than I give him credit for. Parents of Autistics should provide opportunity to their children, then encourage those children to tackle that opportunity head on.
On the family front, I have been investigating the local property market. This is a little difficult given my absence from the scene five days a week, and the fact that buying and selling is better suited to people far more extroverted than myself. I have finally made some inroads though and have decided: it does not have to be ideal, it has to be sufficient. With that in mind, I have a busy weekend coming in six days time.
My first full working week of the year. It can’t finish soon enough!
In typical style I’ve been back in Canberra over a week, and they are still trying to get me “onboarded.” I’m really looking forward to being able to really get stuck into some real work.
Even more annoying than my own work, though, has been my efforts to deal with Sydney based real-estate agents. So it seems I will have a slightly stressful weekend lined up if I intend to secure an investment this financial year.
After somewhat of a break, I find myself back in Canberra.
My work here resumed part way through last week. My break was longer than I had hoped for, but not quite excessively so.
My kids have returned to school.
My wife is looking to broader opportunities at work.
My work… well, it’s mayhem.
I’m at a bit of a stage where I am rethinking the frequency of my blogging. There was a definite stage there where it felt a chore not a means of reaching out, communicating or expression of my thoughts and feelings.
I’ve been very interesting in following #Auspol on twitter since Julia Gillard announced the impending Australian Federal election which is due in September this year. This seems directly related to the mayhem at work. I’m a bit sick of hearing about Modern Families. Great TV show, I’m hoping it disappears as a slogan, though.
So, while I’m back… I dunno if it’s “blog a day” back, but yep… I’m back.
Magpie turned 9 in December 2012.
He had one real request for a birthday present: headphones with a microphone, so he could both use the computer in the lounge room without causing disturbance, and also, so he could record voiceovers on videos he was uploading to YouTube.
With a bit of research… I decided on a Logitech H600 wireless headset. Because, in what I searched for… it seemed that they should work OK with Ubuntu.
I’m very unhappy with that result.
The best I could find on a wide range of Ubunut forums, was unclear information about reported problems. With very little to say “Yay! It worked!”
That is the main reason for this post, really – to say that my sons Logitech H600 headset with headphones and microphone, work fine with Ubuntu 12.10 Quantal Quetzal. The only drama being, Logitech seem to have not yet done anything about a utility to allow pairing of the headset with the universal reciever.
I am considering having a bit of a fiddle with both a virtual machine which I already have on the Ubuntu PC, that runs Windows XP, and simply trying to use the pairing utility with WINE. I will have a fiddle with both of those options over the next week, and write another entry about my success or otherwise.
I’ve read today a story in mainstream news that has given me the horrors.
Given the weather and fires we are facing in Australia, and the fact that there is world class tennis happening in Sydney, there should be no shortage of topics to make me horrified. However, the issue at hand is “kids health.”
I’m specifically going to stay well away from naming the author, publisher, book title, or even the newspaper which has written the article about the book I disagree with. However I will talk about the premise that the newspaper article quotes from the book: “for most children it is a good thing to get measles.”
If enough children get measles for it to be a good thing for most of them… then far more of those children will suffer tragic complications, compared to if that same number of children were vaccinated against measles.
The worst possible complication for either the disease, or the vaccination, is one of two outcomes: death, or a debilitating disability that lasts the rest of the childs life. If 100,000 children have measles, then one of them will be expected – in first world countries – to suffer subacute sclerosing panencephalitis. Which is fatal. The parents of most children, though, won’t have to worry about that – because it’s only about 375 times more likely to happen to them than winning Lotto Strike (a state-run lottery in New South Wales where I am from). Given how many people are happy to buy a “lotto ticket” I’m surprised that many would be willing to gamble on something that is 375 times more likely to kill their child.
This compares to the MMR vaccination. The best source of data – which yes I am a strong fan of – for post vaccination health is from Finland, due to the structure of their health system and records. The UK NHS report that studies of post vaccination outcomes from patients vaccinated between 1982 and 1993 – with a sample size of 1.5 million vaccinated – showed zero long-term negative outcomes (“sequelae“) as a result of the vaccination.
I don’t doubt that there are people who are predispososed to have negative responses to all types of medications.
But all of us are predisposed to having negative responses to virii such as Mumps, Measles and Rubella.
On that basis my own opinion is – unless you can show that your child is more likely to have an advers response from the vaccine than the disease the vaccine is intended to protect your child from. You should carefully consider any decision to not vaccinate.
Vaccination programs prevent more lifetime disabilities and death, than vaccination avoidance campaigns. Regardless of which option you are chosing for your own child – base it on real information.
About a year ago I wrote about taking my family to the Hawkesbury River. Since then our kids are now about a year older. They have all undertaken some swimming lessons and had a lot of opportunities to grow and develop.
We’ve been back to the river a few times and although it hasn’t been as hot in Sydney as it has been elsewhere in Australia these last few days… it has been hot enough.
Today we went to the river again, all five of us plus the dogs. There were several other people there with dogs, so that wasn’t at all a problem.
The amount of swimming out kids have been doing lately really shone through. We spent over two hours relaxing in the water – with not many other options given the temperature on the sand!
Our dogs as it turned out were the biggest cause of problem – with our female being in season, they saw the trip to the river as a romantic getaway from home.
It’s a strong mark of how far we have come that the evening following an unplanned day out, our biggest cause of concern is our randy dog!
Something happened right at school last year: Princess P finally has a fried close enough that it’s a long walk to her house. Far enough that a sleepover makes sense. So we’ve had a few back-to-back sleepover sessions these school holidays.
They have come with a few challenges. The concepts of “ambush mum and dad while you’re on the phone to your friend” or “ask if a reciprocal sleepover is ok when mum comes to pick you up” have both raised their head. Some extremely loud play has ensued and questions have been asked about if the accomodation (Princess P’s bedroom) is in a fit state for guests.
We have also, given the weather, had some issues with sunburn. Given our daughters age, that’s as much her own problem as it is the mother of her friend. But if it continues it will be yet another nail in the coffin of sleepovers till at least Easter.
I would love to think these two-way sleepovers achieve two things: both an “escape to normality” for a girl growing up with disabled brother, and a “window to her life” for Princess P’s friend – some of both Magpie and BTB Fan’s behaviour have been eye-opening it seems.
On an unrelated note. Damn it was hot today. But at least unlike Tasmania, there don’t seem to be any terrible fires throughout New South Wales.
Compared to what other parts of Australia are going through right now, 34 C is pretty easy.
One benefit of Autism that I have come to lean on a fair bit is “rules.”
Generally, once our son knows what The Rules are for a given situation, he actually is quite good at following them. I see this as a consequence of “rigid application of routines.”
This has allowed me to give my son a fairly “long leash” in situations he is familiar with – when we are at the football with his brother and sister, or even, at the local pool.
Today, this fell down a little. And shock, horror, I was called on to actually supervise a seven year old boy.
The problem wasn’t so much the failing to follow the rules – in this instance a quite reasonable and significant saftety type rule – but due to his condition, the inability of the supervising staff to engage him to actually follow the rules. This coincided with me not really being motivated to sit around and supervise him having fun at a time when I was trying to actually achieve something for myself.
So what gave?
There was a consequence for both of us. Actually, all four – because his brother and sister were there – our time at the pool came to an abrupt end, even though I hadn’t done everything I wanted to do. Along with his ability to generally comply with rules, my son really does understand that not following “the rules” usually has consequences. So, with very little discussion, we left.
*sigh* as complaints about children with autism go, that’s a pretty lame effort. He really is coming ahead in leaps and bounds, and these Christmas holidays have been fantastic for him.
This year the 21st century becomes a teenager.
The teens are typically troubling times in most of our lives, with a lot of change and that’s how I’m feeling at this point. I’ve turned 40, and I’m looking at a year ahead with some uncertainty about how I will be able to measure my success.
I have some aspirations, but if I look closely at them they are routes to success not success in themselves. I need to look more closely at why I want these things, and identify what it is about them that marks them as signs of success. Many of the things I am striving for are intangible, which exacerbates my issue.
Maybe. Maybe my success will be achieved when I can drop the whole SMART attitude to my personal life? It seems to result in more concrete results, results that I know when I have achieved, results which I can help my family to celebrate.
I am very outcome focussed in my career. I really enjoy jobs where I have targets identified and where I can look to some kind of scorecard and confirm that “yes, I’m doing my job.” Yet, it seems I may be on a path to deviate away from that kind of work at the moment.
So what might be the outcomes rather than the indicators of success for the Westies for 2013?
- Continued increase in the range of situations where Bob the Builder Fan can resolve the issue through verbal communication
- Complete the assessment process for Magpie, to either confirm there is a need for a treatment program… or not?
- Ensure that Princess P completes primary school ready for high school – both intellecutally AND emotionally. Given that she will be amongst the youngest students in Year 7 at the start of 2013.
- Support Bec through training, work experience, volunteer work, so that at the end of 2013 she has a clearer understanding of what her future direction should be
- Have a house that is market ready. But given what’s across the road, whatever I do to my own house might not mean I have a great circumstance to sell it in (honestly, clik that link and see on A Current Affair what I have across the road from my house).
- For myself… be in a job which is covering my cost of living – with a better idea of what that means if it is another contract role – with a suitable buffer to allow relocating my family out of this suburb if that’s what makes sense in 10 months time.
- And again for myself, have committed to commencing (if not completed) additional study which will help my future career. At this stage, Business Analyst or Project Manager certification, or possibly an MBA.
I think those things are still specific enough, without being so carved in stone that there is no room for an alternative solution I haven’t considered yet.
Food for future thought.